Becoming a dad

I just become a dad and writing down my things that helped me prepare and overcome stress. I hope you find them valuable.

Why do they grow so fast?!

04 Dec 2019 ~2 minutes read » parenting

It was around the time when my baby boy was seven or eight weeks old when it hit me. When we put him into a pram, it started to look like it finally suits him. The tiniest outfits that just a second ago were sagging on him didn’t fit anymore. His socks which seemed like boots when we put them on the first time, now barely covered his little feet… Our newborn started becoming a baby…

I went through the photos we took since the first minutes when he was with us, and I had tears in my eyes. Comparing this tiny and unaware, skinny little newborn he was, with a chubby baby that starts to respond to us was a bitter-sweet experience. On the one hand, watching him developing a new skill every day is unquestionably marvellous. Still, on the other, the days of him being so remarkably delicate were slowly getting behind us. With days passing, my love to him grows stronger, but some part of me can’t let go those days. I want to have every version of him, with me, always…

This was the time when it became painfully obvious - whatever moments passed are already gone. They are not coming back, and nothing can change that. Photos are great little reminders, but all those first tiny winks and smile attempts we never got to capture are in the past now. Unless we preserve them is in our memories, they are gone.

It’s unfair that we get to experience those unique moments when we are exhausted and overwhelmed with the fact of having a first baby. They are passing so suddenly in front of our eyes, and it’s so easy to let them pass unnoticed. We can’t capture them with phones or cameras, we can’t convey them with words. Acknowledging how brittle those moments are, helps me to focus and be more present when I’m with him.

I also realised that those moments, those memories are the most essential part of me being a dad. I had a great opportunity and privilege to stay with my baby for the first four months of his life and experiencing every even tiniest change in him. Watching his little character and temperament unravelling makes me know him better and be more confident with him.

Yes, I’m getting distracted by things around me, and I look at my phone way too often. However, going back to this moment when I first understood how quickly the time passes and how irreversible it is, helps me to bring my attention to what’s most important in my life - my baby boy…

Bitter-sweet lessons learned:

  • We can’t stop or reverse the time, without being present, we lose those most precious moments of daddyhood
  • They grow fast…

Related Posts